First Love

Dear My First Love,

If you know me at all, you know exactly who he is. You know what his name is, how long we dated, and the heartbreak behind it. I am not going to say that he was perfect, but I am not going to sit and talk about all of the things he did that hurt me because I hurt him as well. I am the first to admit that I did not treat him the way he deserved to be treated.

I feel extremely remorseful for the way that I acted. But as the time has passed and scars have started to heal, I realize that I need to thank him. I cannot pick up my phone to call him personally because, well, that would be weird. I have finally been able to unblock him from all social medias because I can look at him with other girls and not want to cry my eyes out. When I think about what I want to say to him, saying it over social media is not the best idea. 

Anyways, what I want to tell him is thank you for teaching me how to love someone so unconditionally. Thank you for showing me that there are people who can love me as much as you did. Thank you for being my rock when I needed you most. Thank you for wiping my tears when I cried over things that did not matter. Thank you for making me laugh when I did not want to smile. Thank you for giving me something to compare all of my next relationships to. Most of all, thank you for breaking my heart. 

I know, most of y'all read that last line and said, "why would you ever thank someone for that?" Let me tell you. Yes, it was one of the most painful things to go through. At the time, I thought I would never get over it. Well it has been almost three years now and I am happy. I am happy with the woman I have become. I am happy with the choices in my life. I am happy with not being known as "_____'s girl." I am my own person. I do not need another person to be happy. 

The phrase, "this too will pass," is what got me through that tough time. In the moment, it feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen to you, but as each day goes by, it starts to hurt a little less. 

Am I saying that I am over him? Definitely not. I do not think I will ever be over him. There will always be a place in my heart that is for him. Do I want to be with him? No. He is happier without me, and that is all I can ask. Did it take me a while to accept that? Of course. 

With all of my heart,

Morgan

Everything happens for a reason. 

                           

Top Left: My daddy and I (2012). Top Right: Me at my formal (2014). Bottom: My mommy and I (2012).

NYX Butter Gloss

OMG Y'ALL

There are not enough good things I can say about these things. To say that I am obsessed would be an understatement. There are so many colors to choose from. I only have two colors...Strawberry Parfait and Apple Strudel. 

They are affordable. You can get them for $4.99 at Ulta, Target, all that jazz. If I could get more, I so would. They way I have been wearing them has been putting a Revlon Colorstay on and then putting one of these glosses on top.

It stays for a long day. It's small enough to put in my small wallet and bring to class. It is not sticky!!! That is a HUGE thing for me. I hate sticky lip gloss. I saw these on Jaclyn Hill's YouTube channel when she was talking about IMATs and knew I had to try them.

I really can't think of anything I don't like about these glosses. They are fabulous. They don't dry out my lips in any way. I'm not a lip person in any way. For me to be putting color on my lips is a very new trend, so I was surprised when I fell so in love.

Good job, NYX!!

Mental Health Awareness Week

This is one week out of the year that I find to be one of the most important weeks for all people. Mental health illnesses affect way more people than we may even know.

Take a look at me, I go to a great college. I have incredible friends. I am blessed to have a mother who overcame breast cancer and is now pregnant with miracle baby number 2. I have good grades. I am in a sorority. I smile whenever I have the chance, but you may not know something about me. I struggle with severe depression and anxiety.

This is something that I was diagnosed with when I was 14 years old. I am not almost 20, and I cannot honestly say that I have conquered it. It is something that I am forced to deal with every day. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed because I feel like I have no reason to. I deal with hurt way more deeply than most people. It takes me longer to get over being upset or broken.

I do not tell most people about this because I don't want people to look differently at me. I have come to the realization though that people need to know that it can effect anyone. It is not something that only hurts people who "deserve" it or whatnot. It can be a part of someone who looks so happy on the outside.

I take pills for it, and they honestly help. But I would be lying if I said there were no days that depression won. There have been many days that depression has won the fight I fight every day.

If you or anyone you know is struggling, talk to someone. Don't let depression win.

A Different Perspective

Now, I'm not one to throw religion down anyone's throat. I am a very strong believer in the fact that I believe what I choose to believe and you choose to believe what you choose to believe. If they happen to be the same idea, then that's great. If it's not, then that's fine too.

Today, I was thinking about all of the troubles I have been dealing with. Whether it was the stress of school, sorority drama, friends fighting, or whatever, it's been a lot to handle. I can say that I hit my breaking point and I curled up in my bed and cried for a little, but then it was over and done with. That's when I move on.

As I was thinking about all the stressful things going on in my life, I realized that I don't take the time out of the day to be thankful for the little things.

So first off, thanks to my friends for putting up with my crazy self. Thank you for always listening to the same drama over and over again and never making me feel like it's a burden to give me the same advice that I don't want to hear time after time. Y'all have no idea what it means knowing I can talk to you about anything at any time.

Secondly, thanks to my family for their undying support. I don't take nearly enough time to realize all of the things they have given up to get me where I am today.

Last off, thank you God for giving me the ability to wake up this morning.

Concealer

Alright let me just start off this post again by saying I've never really been a make up girl. I never wore make up until recently. I would only wear it when I absolutely had to. 

Since Christmas, I have become beyond obsessed. One of the products that I have loved loved loved for a while and just realized it's versatility has been MAC's Pro Longwear Concealer. 

Let me just say that this stuff is the holy grail. It is a little pricey, but oh my god it's worth it. 

It doesn't settle into creases, so not only is it perfect for under eye concealer, it also works well as an eye shadow base. 

I AM IN LOVE. 

Make Up

Clearly, this blog thing wasn't my best decision as I never have time to write…

As the new year approaches, I am going to try to be better about posting on here!

Many people who know me, know that I hate wearing make up. I absolutely hate it. I think it's an annoying process to put it all on. It's annoying to take it off. It's expensive…I try to say that "if you can't handle me without makeup on, you don't deserve to see me with makeup on." (In case you were wondering, I'm still single…)

For Christmas, my mom gave me the Naked 2 Palette and I have to say, I may be willing to change my ways…Now that I see how pretty I can look every day and how fun it is to watch all these different how to videos on YouTube, I think I could go to wearing makeup very often. I won't say I'll wear it every day because well…I'm not a morning person.

Once I find my favorite YouTube videos, I will definitely post them for y'all to check out! I've always wanted to be a make up artist because I love doing make up. I just don't like doing it on myself…

Involvement

Man has it been a long time since I've been on here.

College seemed so easy freshman year. Well, okay not easy...but I had so much more free time last year. Sophomore year has been nothing but things to do all the time. I guess that has to do with being able to be more involved.

I have to say, if I learned anything useful in high school, it would definitely be to get involved. Everyone always says it, but I never really took it to mean anything until I got to college and heard everyone talking about the things they did in high school. They were always trying to outnumber each other in how many clubs they were in, and they didn't have much to compete with when it came to me.

I decided to change my ways for sure in college. I have done just that! As if being in a sorority wasn't a big enough commitment. Put in schoolwork on top of that. Most people would say that's enough. For some reason, I decided that it wasn't enough for me. I went out and joined two Campus Representative internships. I applied and was accepted into the Greek Board of Directors Homecoming Committee. I tried out the water polo team with a sister until a knee injury caused me to be done with that one. I'm always looking for other things to join!

Confessions

This week I came across a blog that not only belongs to my sorority sister from another school, but also a friend from a Campus Representative program through Little Problems. She, Life Is But A Stream of Thoughts, teamed up with The Sticky Note Addict to do confessions every Wednesday.

That seems like something rather fun for me to take part of. Maybe I can even find some followers who find me intriguing ;).

I CONFESS...

...that I have been back in the action of class for 2 weeks and have already skipped 2 classes.

...that I am writing this instead of studying for my Calculus or Chemistry quiz. I guess I'll do that after I finish.

...that I have not started on my goals to lose weight during this semester. Going to the gym tomorrow!!

...that I have the girl I want to be my little and it's killing me not to show her everything I have made.

...that I am running off of a few hours of sleep because I decided going to iHop at 1am was a better idea than sleeping. It was not. 

...that I feel like I have so much to get done and it won't get done. This is the time when I turn to prayer because that is the only way I will be able to keep my sanity.

Themed Events

I wish I could be on the social board to help come up with themes for exchanges and everything else...

Themes work out fabulously for me because I can look stupid and not care one bit. The boys at events pay more attention to you if you go all out as well. Therefore, the conclusion is to always dress up, but sometimes these themes seem to be ridiculously hard...

Our theme for this week is "Your Worst Nightmare." I am at a complete lost as to what to do for this...I could obviously dress up as a pregnant lady because at this point in my life I would hate to get pregnant. Then I run the risk of being hot and having to figure out what to do with the stuff in my shirt. Basically, this ones a no go.

My roommates only reoccurring nightmare is going to school naked. I unfortunately doubt that our sorority would be okay with us showing up naked.

Then there's the boys advice. "Go as a condom." Just no. Not even no thank you.

So I guess for now I will be googling ideas. If you think you have an awesome idea, feel free to voice it!!

There's always the clown route....

Little Hunting Season

It's about that time ladies!!

LITTLE HUNTING SEASON IS UPON US!!

The misery of rush is over. We can finally catch up on all of the sleep that we lacked from late night voting sessions. Most everyone is getting over that miserable illness we all seem to pass around from being locked in the same house for two weeks straight. Bid day has come and gone. All we are left with now are the marks left behind which include but are not limited to the glitter around the house, the banners welcoming the pledge class of 2013, and the gifts new members received on their first day as part of a sorority.

Now, we begin searching for that perfect new member to become our prodigy. For me, she obviously has to willing to come to the house with me, love me, and of course Snapchat me on the reg!

Naturally, I began crafting for my little at the beginning of the summer. I can only make so many things without knowing her name though...I've done countless amounts of canvases, shot glasses, wine glasses, and bulletin boards. What else do I come up with before I actually know her name????

Does anyone have any good ideas for little presents without knowing her name?

Recruitment

Wow recruitment workshop has kicked my butt...

We are only on day 5 of 8. I feel like I could sleep for days on days and not be caught up on sleep. I will admit that our sorority has it fairly easy though. We have only had one ten hour day, and we do not have to scream all day.

So far I have learned that Kappa Kappa Gamma was most definitely the right sorority for me and I would not change it for the world. I do, however, continue to go back to the questions I asked myself when I myself was a PNM going through this recruitment thing. I had NO idea what to expect. Not a clue. My grandma pledged Pi Beta Phi and dropped because of grades. My mom pledged Kappa Delta and she dropped because of grades. It makes me wonder what I did that was right to get into the house that I did. Was it fate? I know I did not have a recommendation for this house, so I had to have done something to make them realize I was a good out of state girl.

Another thing that has made me wonder why I enjoy being in a sorority is how based on looks it really is. I was raised to not think twice about how a girl looks. If she's nice and wants to be my friend, who am I to say, "no we can't be friends because you wore a braid on Tuesday and braids aren't cool." Don't get me wrong, when I walk into a class for the first time, I admit I choose where I sit by how pretty the girls are. Yes that's wrong and no I shouldn't do it, but it is a subconscious thing. Now, I will not just not talk to someone because they aren't the pretty people that I sat next to.

I guess I just have to remember that although these girls may not become one of my sisters this year because we have no way of knowing these 1100 girls coming through recruitment and relying on looks alone, they will end up in a good house because there is no bad sorority here. These girls are also judging us on how we look, so it is a somewhat good compromise.

Stay klassy!

Bootylicious

As many college students are, I am obsessed with Pinterest. Obsessed probably does not even begin to cover it. 

You can see my Pinterest here.

Anyways, today I am starting the 30 Day Squat Challenge. I don't know any girl that does not want to have a bootylicious donk...I also know that this is going to be a pain in my butt. I get bored really easily when I work out. Sometimes I can be on an elliptical machine for hours watching TV shows on Netflix. Other times the minutes last as long as waiting for your food to reheat in a microwave. 

This challenge seems like I might be able to do it. It won't take me hours on hours to do each day. I'm starting this now because I will be moving into my sorority house for rush workshop and rush. I know I won't have time to make it to the gym as much as I would like to. 

As soon as rush is over, I will be hittin' the gym hardcore!!

Do you have any easy work outs that you can do in your room?