First Love

Dear My First Love,

If you know me at all, you know exactly who he is. You know what his name is, how long we dated, and the heartbreak behind it. I am not going to say that he was perfect, but I am not going to sit and talk about all of the things he did that hurt me because I hurt him as well. I am the first to admit that I did not treat him the way he deserved to be treated.

I feel extremely remorseful for the way that I acted. But as the time has passed and scars have started to heal, I realize that I need to thank him. I cannot pick up my phone to call him personally because, well, that would be weird. I have finally been able to unblock him from all social medias because I can look at him with other girls and not want to cry my eyes out. When I think about what I want to say to him, saying it over social media is not the best idea. 

Anyways, what I want to tell him is thank you for teaching me how to love someone so unconditionally. Thank you for showing me that there are people who can love me as much as you did. Thank you for being my rock when I needed you most. Thank you for wiping my tears when I cried over things that did not matter. Thank you for making me laugh when I did not want to smile. Thank you for giving me something to compare all of my next relationships to. Most of all, thank you for breaking my heart. 

I know, most of y'all read that last line and said, "why would you ever thank someone for that?" Let me tell you. Yes, it was one of the most painful things to go through. At the time, I thought I would never get over it. Well it has been almost three years now and I am happy. I am happy with the woman I have become. I am happy with the choices in my life. I am happy with not being known as "_____'s girl." I am my own person. I do not need another person to be happy. 

The phrase, "this too will pass," is what got me through that tough time. In the moment, it feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen to you, but as each day goes by, it starts to hurt a little less. 

Am I saying that I am over him? Definitely not. I do not think I will ever be over him. There will always be a place in my heart that is for him. Do I want to be with him? No. He is happier without me, and that is all I can ask. Did it take me a while to accept that? Of course. 

With all of my heart,

Morgan

Everything happens for a reason. 

                           

Top Left: My daddy and I (2012). Top Right: Me at my formal (2014). Bottom: My mommy and I (2012).

A Different Perspective

Now, I'm not one to throw religion down anyone's throat. I am a very strong believer in the fact that I believe what I choose to believe and you choose to believe what you choose to believe. If they happen to be the same idea, then that's great. If it's not, then that's fine too.

Today, I was thinking about all of the troubles I have been dealing with. Whether it was the stress of school, sorority drama, friends fighting, or whatever, it's been a lot to handle. I can say that I hit my breaking point and I curled up in my bed and cried for a little, but then it was over and done with. That's when I move on.

As I was thinking about all the stressful things going on in my life, I realized that I don't take the time out of the day to be thankful for the little things.

So first off, thanks to my friends for putting up with my crazy self. Thank you for always listening to the same drama over and over again and never making me feel like it's a burden to give me the same advice that I don't want to hear time after time. Y'all have no idea what it means knowing I can talk to you about anything at any time.

Secondly, thanks to my family for their undying support. I don't take nearly enough time to realize all of the things they have given up to get me where I am today.

Last off, thank you God for giving me the ability to wake up this morning.