First Love

Dear My First Love,

If you know me at all, you know exactly who he is. You know what his name is, how long we dated, and the heartbreak behind it. I am not going to say that he was perfect, but I am not going to sit and talk about all of the things he did that hurt me because I hurt him as well. I am the first to admit that I did not treat him the way he deserved to be treated.

I feel extremely remorseful for the way that I acted. But as the time has passed and scars have started to heal, I realize that I need to thank him. I cannot pick up my phone to call him personally because, well, that would be weird. I have finally been able to unblock him from all social medias because I can look at him with other girls and not want to cry my eyes out. When I think about what I want to say to him, saying it over social media is not the best idea. 

Anyways, what I want to tell him is thank you for teaching me how to love someone so unconditionally. Thank you for showing me that there are people who can love me as much as you did. Thank you for being my rock when I needed you most. Thank you for wiping my tears when I cried over things that did not matter. Thank you for making me laugh when I did not want to smile. Thank you for giving me something to compare all of my next relationships to. Most of all, thank you for breaking my heart. 

I know, most of y'all read that last line and said, "why would you ever thank someone for that?" Let me tell you. Yes, it was one of the most painful things to go through. At the time, I thought I would never get over it. Well it has been almost three years now and I am happy. I am happy with the woman I have become. I am happy with the choices in my life. I am happy with not being known as "_____'s girl." I am my own person. I do not need another person to be happy. 

The phrase, "this too will pass," is what got me through that tough time. In the moment, it feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen to you, but as each day goes by, it starts to hurt a little less. 

Am I saying that I am over him? Definitely not. I do not think I will ever be over him. There will always be a place in my heart that is for him. Do I want to be with him? No. He is happier without me, and that is all I can ask. Did it take me a while to accept that? Of course. 

With all of my heart,

Morgan

Everything happens for a reason. 

                           

Top Left: My daddy and I (2012). Top Right: Me at my formal (2014). Bottom: My mommy and I (2012).

NYX Butter Gloss

OMG Y'ALL

There are not enough good things I can say about these things. To say that I am obsessed would be an understatement. There are so many colors to choose from. I only have two colors...Strawberry Parfait and Apple Strudel. 

They are affordable. You can get them for $4.99 at Ulta, Target, all that jazz. If I could get more, I so would. They way I have been wearing them has been putting a Revlon Colorstay on and then putting one of these glosses on top.

It stays for a long day. It's small enough to put in my small wallet and bring to class. It is not sticky!!! That is a HUGE thing for me. I hate sticky lip gloss. I saw these on Jaclyn Hill's YouTube channel when she was talking about IMATs and knew I had to try them.

I really can't think of anything I don't like about these glosses. They are fabulous. They don't dry out my lips in any way. I'm not a lip person in any way. For me to be putting color on my lips is a very new trend, so I was surprised when I fell so in love.

Good job, NYX!!

Mental Health Awareness Week

This is one week out of the year that I find to be one of the most important weeks for all people. Mental health illnesses affect way more people than we may even know.

Take a look at me, I go to a great college. I have incredible friends. I am blessed to have a mother who overcame breast cancer and is now pregnant with miracle baby number 2. I have good grades. I am in a sorority. I smile whenever I have the chance, but you may not know something about me. I struggle with severe depression and anxiety.

This is something that I was diagnosed with when I was 14 years old. I am not almost 20, and I cannot honestly say that I have conquered it. It is something that I am forced to deal with every day. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed because I feel like I have no reason to. I deal with hurt way more deeply than most people. It takes me longer to get over being upset or broken.

I do not tell most people about this because I don't want people to look differently at me. I have come to the realization though that people need to know that it can effect anyone. It is not something that only hurts people who "deserve" it or whatnot. It can be a part of someone who looks so happy on the outside.

I take pills for it, and they honestly help. But I would be lying if I said there were no days that depression won. There have been many days that depression has won the fight I fight every day.

If you or anyone you know is struggling, talk to someone. Don't let depression win.

A Different Perspective

Now, I'm not one to throw religion down anyone's throat. I am a very strong believer in the fact that I believe what I choose to believe and you choose to believe what you choose to believe. If they happen to be the same idea, then that's great. If it's not, then that's fine too.

Today, I was thinking about all of the troubles I have been dealing with. Whether it was the stress of school, sorority drama, friends fighting, or whatever, it's been a lot to handle. I can say that I hit my breaking point and I curled up in my bed and cried for a little, but then it was over and done with. That's when I move on.

As I was thinking about all the stressful things going on in my life, I realized that I don't take the time out of the day to be thankful for the little things.

So first off, thanks to my friends for putting up with my crazy self. Thank you for always listening to the same drama over and over again and never making me feel like it's a burden to give me the same advice that I don't want to hear time after time. Y'all have no idea what it means knowing I can talk to you about anything at any time.

Secondly, thanks to my family for their undying support. I don't take nearly enough time to realize all of the things they have given up to get me where I am today.

Last off, thank you God for giving me the ability to wake up this morning.

Concealer

Alright let me just start off this post again by saying I've never really been a make up girl. I never wore make up until recently. I would only wear it when I absolutely had to. 

Since Christmas, I have become beyond obsessed. One of the products that I have loved loved loved for a while and just realized it's versatility has been MAC's Pro Longwear Concealer. 

Let me just say that this stuff is the holy grail. It is a little pricey, but oh my god it's worth it. 

It doesn't settle into creases, so not only is it perfect for under eye concealer, it also works well as an eye shadow base. 

I AM IN LOVE.